I Ain't No Betty Crocker

I'm not a baker. 

It's not that I don't try, I just can't ever bake anything and have it come out delicious because I refuse to follow recipes completely because in my mind, I'm an expert chef (yeah right) and I seem to make up ingredients as I go. 

Tonight I tried making a buttermilk pie for Nic from his favorite food blog. You see, Nic lived in Texas his entire life before moving to Florida 4 years ago and every now and then he'll ask me to cook or bake something for him if his feeling homesick and want some southern food (I don't know why he keeps asking me of all people since I've never even really had real Southern food before except from Cracker Barrel.) He claims buttermilk pie is food fit for Gods. 

I tried. But I failed miserably. 

Ehh, I guess it could kind of pass for a blueberry inside-out pie LOL. 

And poor Nic was devastated because he had been waiting hours to have dessert and I even told him not to pick up anything sweet at the grocery store when we were there so he doesn't ruin his appetite for the pie. And he has a major sweet tooth so he wasn't a happy camper, especially since we didn't buy any backup. He didn't talk to me for at least an hour. 

If you want a freshly baked pie or cake, don't call me. I can pick one up for you but I won't bake one because it'll have a nice crusty, burnt top layer and gooey, undercooked middle layer and you'll probably get a stomach ache after taking a single bite. Also, please excuse the fact that I have flour and food particles all over my stovetop, my mom would probably have a stroke if she sees the condition I keep this kitchen.